


au contraire

by cactsu



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Demon!Ryan, Fluff and Angst, M/M, a group of endearingly quirky kids summon ryan with a ouija board, also bront, but he cares very much about ryan so it's okay, deity!shane, shane's an ass, steven and andrew are there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 18:30:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12238341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cactsu/pseuds/cactsu
Summary: Shane is a bored deity with a sardonic sense of humor. Ryan is a demon who’s a tad too jumpy for someone of his kind.Certainly not a match made in heaven, but they sure as hell make it work like it is.





	au contraire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ghostwheeze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostwheeze/gifts).



> this originated as a long dumb ramble that i sent to ghostwheeze as a submission, but she really liked it and encouraged me to write it. thanks for being so great and supporting me, boo, ily! ♡  
> (i want to apologize in advance for the overuse of italics…and ellipses……and the word hell. good lord i’m sorry)

Shane stretched his long legs out in front of him and placed his hands behind his head with a content sigh; it was a nice day out to sit in the park and enjoy the sunshine. You know, it was the little things about this world that made it worth staying on.

He took in his surroundings from his comfortable spot on the bench as he lackadaisically people-watched. As much as he genuinely liked this place, Shane’s fascination in humankind wasn’t exactly what one would consider… grand. If anything, he was mostly just interested in their silly shenanigans, and all the stupid shit they’d do to get themselves killed. It was comical, really, and it certainly served as a fair amount of entertainment to keep the deity occupied. Sometimes, his realm of existence (or as the humans called it, ‘heaven’) got fucking boring. The cool thing about this little pea-sized planet called Earth was that its civilizations and technologies were _always changing_. Nothing ever changed where he was from. He could only take it for so long until he had to enter some other plane of the universe for a good time (being a few centuries, give or take).

From his lap, his cellphone buzzed with the notification of a text message, interrupting his thoughts. He flipped it over to see that it was from his friend and co-worker, Steven.

_Hey, dude, me and the boys are going to the bar tonight. Care to join?_

Shane smiled at the text. Another day, another party, or something.

_Sure, sounds good to me. See you later._

He pressed send and repocketed his phone, silently praying to the other deities above that this wouldn’t get old like everything else did.

 

* * *

 

 

“Come on, guys, it’ll be fun!”

Three teenagers stood in rigid silence in the doorway of an old, slightly decaying house. They stared at their friend, who was standing a few meters ahead of them in the living room, with incredulous expressions glued to their faces.

“A Ouija board? Really, Joe?” The girl with the floral hijab and round glasses spoke up, clearly displeased. “You dragged us all the way to some creepy abandoned house in the asscheek of nowhere to fuck around with a _Ouija board_? Are you insane?”

“Aw, seriously, it won’t be that bad, Ashanti. Nothing’s even gonna happen. Ghosts are bullshit.”

“Actually, I’m with Ash on this one,” the girl standing next to Ashanti interjected, her wild, curly ginger hair bouncing as she shook her head. “I’m not even religious, but this seems very dangerous. I don’t think I’m down.”

“Oh my god, guys, seriously! Don’t be a bunch of pussies!” The one named Joe groaned, crossing his leather jacket-clad arms across his chest.

“We’re not pussies for not wanting to _die_ , Joe,” the one other guy piped from beside the redhead, gazing around the very dimly moonlit room nervously.

“For once, I agree with Blake. Even if he’s a huge, whiny scaredy cat the majority of the time anyway.”

“Golly gee, thanks, Leslie.”

“My pleasure.”

“Ugh, you guys fucking suck,” Joe whined, making his way further into the living area. “I just wanted to have a fun adventure with the lads, and they don’t even appreciate it. I set up candles and everything.”

In the middle of the room, a brown Ouija board sat encircled by about eight tall, unlit candles. The sandy-haired boy approached his spooky little setup and gestured to it like it was the most spectacular thing in the world (it wasn’t, really, evident by the look on his friends’ faces).

“Plus, I thought we could stay the night here. I even brought everyone sleeping bags and snacks and all that stuff. I mean, just think about it!” He opened his arms wide for emphasis. “This is a great way to kick off the spoopy season!”

“Joe, it’s literally September.”

“The sooner, the better! Besides, if we actually did it on, like, Friday the 13th or Halloween, there’d probably be douchebags running around actually expecting kids like us to be out doing this sorta stuff, and they’ll purposefully try to scare us. It’s pretty predictable.”

There was a pause amongst the group; Leslie crossed her arms and nodded tentatively. “I guess that’s true.”

“See? I make a good point, don’t I?”

“Yeah…” Ashanti said softly, gazing thoughtfully as the floor.

“Ah, actually, I have an objection,” Blake interposed, lifting his hand like he was attempting to gain the teacher’s attention in a classroom. Joe shot him an icy glare, already expecting some bullshit. “While it is indeed true that it would be better to do it now, it would be _even better_ … if we don’t do it at all.”

Joe pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Don’t be a killjoy, Blake, I was really onto something.”

“Always my duty to put you in your place when you think you’re being smart,” the brunet shot back with a mocking bow. The two girls snickered; Joe huffed in annoyance at their unwillingness to cooperate.

“Hardee har, very funny. C’mon, really, guys, I just wanted to have some fun with my pals. I really went the extra mile. Literally and figuratively, since I did drive us here.”

“Well… okay, yeah—”

“ _Come on_ , then!” The boy had rejoined the three in the doorway and went to stand behind them, wrapping his arms around their shoulders and leading them into the room towards the wide circle of candles. Neither one of them saw any point in retaliating further; Joe was as stubborn as a mule, and there was no convincing him whatsoever.

They reluctantly found their spots on the dusty wooden floor around the board, watching as Joe reached into his backpack and pulled out a lighter to light the candles. The room now slightly more lit, the orange glow sending long, ominous shadows across the floor and walls, he put the lighter back in his bag and turned to the ‘game’ in front of him. He was about to put his fingers to the planchette when Leslie’s voice stopped him.

“Did you bring a silver coin?”

“Uh… no, why?” He asked, retracting his fingers slowly.

“According to the rules, you’re supposed to put a silver coin onto the board before you begin.”

“Oh. Didn’t know that.”

Leslie rolled her eyes with a scoff. “You’ve gotta do your research on these sorts of things, man. This isn’t just some silly game.”

“Sure it is! You don’t actually believe this stuff is _real_ , do you?”

“Regardless of my beliefs, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.”

“Kinda sad that you didn’t do your research when you’re the one who suggested it,” Blake muttered, meddlesome as always. Joe threw his hands in the air, exasperated.

“Jeez, alright, I get it, just put the damned thing on the board already so we can get this party started.” He narrowed his eyes in Leslie’s direction. “How do you know the _rules_ , anyway?”

The ginger shrugged noncommittally as she searched the pockets of her green flannel jacket. “I’ve read up on it a few times just out of curiosity.” Fishing out a single quarter, she sat the coin down in the middle of the board before placing her fingers on the planchette, the rest following in tow.

“Okay, everyone ready?”

Ashanti sighed with a soft “as ready as I’ll ever be”, Joe nodded eagerly, and Blake merely shrugged sulkily in response. Taking that is a sufficient answer, she called out into the vacant house.

“Is anyone there?”

~

Somewhere amongst the darkness that the demon sat in, something glowed.

It resembled a murky mirror of sorts, showing obscured images of a small group of misfits no older than nineteen seated around a Ouija board in a dark, candle-lit room. The dark soul slightly frowned at the sight; was this what the others often spoke of? He’d only ever heard boastful anecdotes from other demons about their experiences with Ouija boards (most of them being quite overexaggerated), and had never had any desire to fool around with them himself. But now that he thought about it, he didn’t really have anything to lose from the other side of the board, so he figured that now would be as good a time as any to go for it. Not to mention he was alone for once, so why not? He approached the mirror-like vortex and lifted a hand to lay flat against the surface.

Meanwhile, on Earth, Blake frowned in agitated disappointment. “Nothing’s even happening.”

“Ask it again,” Joe said to Leslie, voice barely above a whisper. She cleared her throat and repeated the question, louder and with more confidence than before.

This time, the entity responded in kind, using his powers to channel through the teenagers’ physical forms and slowly push the small wooden piece across the board. Everyone’s hearts collectively skipped at the sight.

“Alright, whoever’s making it move, cut it out,” Ashanti said with a small, nervous huff of laughter.

“I’m not moving it,” Leslie said, looking towards the two boys for answers. They both shook their heads before they all returned their attention to the board.

_YES._

The four friends exchanged wary glances.

“Um, hello. What’s your name?”

_R … Y … A … N._

Blake audibly gulped. “Okay, well, nice to meet you, Ryan. Uh, full disclosure; I, at least, don’t wanna be doing this. Our good old friend here _really_ wanted us to talk to you for some reason. He’s kind of a dick, to be honest.”

“Oh, go to Hell.”

“Aw, now Joseph, we both know that if I’m going to Hell, there’s no way you’re not coming with me. It’ll be the two of us, having a jolly old time.”

On the other end of the line, Ryan snorted and rolled his eyes at their bickering. He knew the boy was being sarcastic, but even then, he’d bite his words if he ever had to experience this god-awful place. “Trust me, kid, you wouldn’t wanna come here,” he muttered, mostly to himself.

Before Joe could give his snark retort to Blake, Ashanti gasped, a shiver creeping down her spine in the worst possible way.

“Holy— oh my god— did you guys hear that?”

“No, hear what?” Leslie cocked her head inquisitively.

“I-It kind of sounded like someone mumbled something… somewhere. I couldn’t really make out what it said, it was really incoherent. But I heard it.”

“Well, that’s a good sign.”

“Shut up, Blake.” Joe scolded before turning to Ashanti. “I’m sure it was nothing, Ash. Probably just the wind, or an owl outside.”

_Well, that’s just rude,_ Ryan mused to himself, but decided not to speak out loud, as to not frighten the girl again.

“If you hear something again, let us know, okay?” Leslie’s voice was comfortingly soft; Ash nodded wordlessly, bottom lip tucked between her teeth, before the other girl addressed the board again.

“Are you a good spirit or a bad spirit, Ryan?”

The demon paused and thought about this for a second. Technically, he was bad. He was demonic, after all. But, really, there wasn’t a bad bone in his body. He’d learned a lot since… well, dying, and even when he was alive, he wasn’t _too_ bad of a person (though him being where he was more than likely suggested otherwise). He truly didn’t want to harm anyone or anything; he really just wanted to live again, have another chance. After a small moment of thought, he decided to go with his genuinely honest answer.

_I … D … K._

“IDK.” Leslie’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Wait, do you mean, like, ‘I don’t know’?”

_YES._

“It doesn’t know?” Blake squeaked. “Dude, what the _fuck_ does that even mean? How do you not know if you’re good or bad?”

“Maybe it’s… I dunno… impartial.” Joe shrugged nonchalantly.

“I don’t like the sound of this. The fact that it doesn’t know obviously implicates that there’s at least _something_ evil about it. If it was good, it would’ve just said yes.”

“Yeah, guys. That doesn’t seem like a very good answer coming from a Ouija board, of all things,” Ashanti said, also concerned.

“Alright, alright, just—” Les blew a loose curl from her face before continuing. “Let’s just keep asking it questions.”

“ _Keep asking_ —?”

“Yes, okay, jeez. Something about its answer sort of piqued my interest, and I wanna ask it more questions to learn more about it.”

“You’re suddenly very on board with this, Les,” Joe said, sounding surprised.

“Not necessarily. I’m a curious cat, but I’m maintaining caution.”

“Right, if you say so.”

She ignored him to get back to the task at hand. “Ryan? Are you still there?”

_YES._ He wished he could tell them that their arguing was entertaining, but he decided that it would take way too long.

“Okay. Um… the question you answered before that last one, the one where I asked if you were a good or bad spirit. You spelled IDK. That’s… pretty modern. Like text lingo. Have you been dead long?”

_NO._

“So you died relatively recently then?” Joe was the one to ask the question this time, breaking out of his skeptical box in pursuit of his own curiosity.

_YES_.

“How did you die?”

Ryan would have answered the question, if he hadn’t gotten distracted by something off about the vortex, something… changing, in a way. He didn’t know much about the ‘rules’ of the game— he’d only heard a few things through word of mouth— but apparently, they were breaking _something_ , weakening the wall between his world and theirs.

Could he actually push through that wall? Could he actually _return_ to Earth, something he’d wanted to do since the day he died? Had his opportunity finally arisen? He pushed forward, determined to find out.

Beneath the eight pairs of fingertips resting on the planchette, it began to vibrate, starting subtly then growing in violence. Ash yelped, hands flinching with the desire to retract her hands from the game. Leslie saw this and warned her before she could.

“N-No! Don’t remove your fingers from the planchette. That’s a huge Ouija board no-no. It’ll only make it worse.”

“Hurry up and say goodbye, then!”

“Goodbye.” Leslie’s voice quivered as she spoke. The planchette abruptly stopped vibrating; the only sounds in the room were the kids’ combined ragged breathing as they waited for the planchette to move towards the ‘goodbye’ at the bottom of the board.

It didn’t.

Suddenly, a loud banging noise sounded from somewhere in the room. Joe, only an octave away from shrieking like a little girl, jumped back, flinging the small object from the board as he did so. He cowered a few feet away before standing up, closer to the front door now. Startled from the onslaught of events, the others screamed and jumped up as well, joining him in a huddle near the door. Leslie socked a firm punch to his arm, angry in her fright.

“ _Joe!_ Why the fuck did you do that?”

“Ow! I’m-I’m sorry! The noise scared me!”

“We— We weren’t supposed to remove our fingers from the planchette! God, this is so bad, so fucking—"

The wooden board, which had been all but completely forgotten about, began to rattle in its place on the floor. Huddling even closer together, the teens watched with wide, terrified eyes as a bout of black smog started to swirl from, then around it. Growing taller, it collected itself into a single cloud, manifesting into the vague form of a person before rapidly shooting from the center of the room and into a corner.

“What. The ever-loving _fuck_. _Was_ _that_.” Blake’s voice shook with the intensity of the situation.

“I-It went in that corner,” Ash stammered, pointing towards the farthest, darkest corner of the room with a tremoring hand, “over there.”

The small group stood in stunned, horrified silence, apparently too petrified to move. When the tiniest flicker of movement came from within the shadows, they all collectively jumped. Joe shuddered and shook his head, completely over it at this point.

“Okay. I’m not fucking staying here. Fuck that entirely. This was so stupid.”

“It was _your_ idea, genius!” Blake retracted from the huddle, standing even closer to the door.

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t think it would actually work! I thought it was just a bunch of bullshit!”

“Well, guess what, smartass? It’s _not_ , and now this thing is probably gonna haunt us for the rest of our lives, if not fucking murk us all within the next seven days or some shit, like in the movies! And of course, it’s all your fault.”

“Hey, don’t blame it all on _me_! I just wanted to have fun! Plus, you agreed to it, so it’s not all my fault!”

“You… did kinda peer-pressure us, though,” Ash added timidly, wringing her shaking hands. “I’ve got a backbone, but you did kind of push me and Blake and Les to submission. You’re our friend and all, but I-I really didn’t wanna do this…”

“See?” Blake gestured to Ash’s trembling form. “I think we can all agree that this was your fault. I hope the demon kills you first.”

“Seriously? God, fuck you, Blake.” Joe seethed, hands balling into tight fists at his sides. “You’re such a douchebag.”

“ _I’m_ the douchebag? You’re the one who—"

“Okay, _okay,_ guys, just calm down and shut the fuck up already.” Leslie interjected the intense argument, standing between the two boys before a fight broke out. “Blake, stop being so antagonistic. Joe was really pressuring about it, and yeah, he did take his fingers off first, but you freaking out and being a dick doesn’t help the situation. If anything, if the demon is still here, I bet you’re just annoying it with all your hollering.”

Though he knew no one could see him, Ryan nodded in agreement from the dark corner where he hid. She most certainly wasn’t wrong about that. _Kudos to you, girl_.

“You need to come to terms with the fact that it happened, and now we need to think rationally and move on. I get it, you’re scared. We’re… we’re all scared. But you’re really not helping right now. Okay?”

Blake grumbled under his breath, eyes downcast before glancing up at her. She gave him a pointed look, eyebrows raised, and he sighed defeatedly. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Good. Now that everyone’s calmed down, let’s just go to my place. There aren’t any demons there… as far as I know, anyway. But it sure as hell beats being _here_.”

“Wowee, way to be reassuring, Les.”

The ginger’s green eyes were like daggers when she shot him a sharp glare. “Y’know, you’re being way more of an annoying prick tonight than usual, Blake. Feel free to join us on our way out once you stop being a goddamn child. Until then, you’re welcome to stay here and hang out with ol’ Ryan. I’m sure he’d just _love_ your company.”

At that, Ryan frowned and shook his head. She most certainly _was_ wrong about that one. Though he did give her another mental kudos for her rationality and maturity about the situation. Blake could really learn a thing or two from her.

Without waiting for an answer, Leslie opened the front door, and the three started to make their way out of the house. That apparently got Blake to lighten the hell up.

“Fine. I’m coming.”

Ryan watched as they all shuffled out, closing the door behind them. He heard the engine of Joe’s car rev up in the house’s driveway, then start to pull away.

And then they were gone.

With no reason to hide any longer, Ryan stepped from the corner, using a large portion of what little power he had to put himself in his complete, tangible form. He stood alone in the empty living room, the moon providing dim, milky blue lighting as it shone through the grimy windows. He took a deep breath in, relishing the first inhale of non-sulfuric air he’d taken in a very, very long time.

It was good to be back.

 

* * *

 

 

It took Ryan about two weeks to get his foot back in the door of, well, being alive, but it wasn’t too terribly hard. Though his powers weren’t the strongest, having them was a big advantage, as they aided him in reacquainting himself with Earth and society.

He didn’t use them for anything minacious, obviously; he just used them to manipulate humans the tiniest bit, so he could get the basic life essentials like money, a place to stay, a car… all that jazz. Nothing _harmful_. Besides, shit was expensive in Los Angeles. He figured that he’d try not manipulating everything to his will and put some effort into getting a real job at some point. Maybe something film-related? He’d always wanted to do that.

Seeing as he’d gotten himself quite settled in good time, he decided to celebrate by going out for a drink. He’d already made a few friends within the past couple of weeks, but he wanted to go alone this time. As he got ready for his night out, he swore to himself that he wouldn’t make any of the same mistakes as last time.

~

Shane was more mentally exhausted than usual tonight.

There wasn’t anything particularly serious bothering him, he was just a bit stressed about work and deadlines and all the things that the average adult mortal worried about. If there was anything he didn’t like about human society, other than the constant global issues concerning politics and other stupid shit, it was the stress of simply day-to-day life. Humans had it kind of rough, he’ll give ‘em that.

Being at the bar or at parties with friends usually helped ease some of the tension in his shoulders, but tonight, all the hustle and bustle of social interaction was kind of starting to wear him out. His friend Steven noticed his slightly-less-than-normally-enthusiastic state and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, you good, Shane?” He asked, a look of genuine concern on his face.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Shane replied, giving him a small, tight smile. Deeming this as adequate reassurance, the silver-haired man smiled back, giving his shoulder a squeeze before retracting his hand.

From across the room, Ryan tried not to stare, but honestly, he couldn’t help it. There was something about the guy that wasn’t normal. Not in a bad way, it just— he had an aura, which humans didn’t have. Only the supernatural had auras. Who was this guy?

“Hey, I’ll be right back, just gonna go take a breather for a little bit,” Shane announced to his friends, grabbing his glass of bourbon from the bar counter and turning towards the back doors.

“Alright, just don’t go running away on us, Madej.” His friend Andrew piped up, slightly tipsy at this point.

“I won’t. Just try not to get into any trouble without me chaperoning.” The others waved dismissive hands his way as he made his way across the room to go outside for some fresh air (or, rather, fresh for L.A. standards).

When the man broke off from his group to hang out by himself on the bar’s back patio, Ryan gathered up his courage and followed. He needed to know who this oddly gravitating person was, and why he stuck out like a sore thumb.

Once he was outside, he found the tall man on the patio alone, leaning against the wooden railing and staring out at the city commotion beyond the bar with his glass in one hand. Sucking in a deep breath, Ryan squared his shoulders and went to lean against the railing in the space next to him.

“You know, there’s something about you.”

“Oh?” The immortal took a sip of his bourbon without looking at whoever had planted themselves next to him. “Is it the beautiful sparkle in my eyes, or perhaps my strikingly handsome features?”

“Why not both?”

Shane snorted. “How sweet. Lemme guess, you believe in soulmates.”

“And what if I do?”

“Then I’d say there’s something about you, too, most probably the deficiency of common sense in your left brain.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying that I can tell you’re not human. You have an aura about you that’s clearly not of this world.”

Okay, _that_ caught him off guard. He finally decided to turn towards the source of the voice and was surprised to find that not only was the guy rather attractive, but he, too, had a glowing aura around his shorter frame, colored a deep purple in contrast to Shane’s pale yellow. He stared at him for a moment, eyes shining in perplexed interest, before finally speaking up again.

“Huh, well color me flabbergasted, so do you.” He turned to gaze back out at the busy streets ahead. “So what’s your deal, then? Where are you from, if not from here?”

Ryan chuckled. “Ah, I actually am from here, but I’ve kind of been to Hell and back, so I’d say I’m a bit of a changed man.” When he got no reaction, he decided to just come out with the horns. “I’m a demon.”

Shane choked on the bourbon he’d been taking a sip of, coughing a bit before setting the glass down and giving Ryan an astonished look. “ _You_? A _demon_?”

“Gee, don’t sound so impressed.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just… you know, you don’t seem very… demonic. No offense.”

“None taken. I guess I’m just not like the others. I’d rather not be, anyway.”

“Now, there’s a rom-com line if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Maybe I like rom-coms, too,” Ryan grinned and rested his chin on his fist. “Add it to my Tinder profile, next to ‘believes in soulmates’.”

“Boy, you sure are a catch,” Shane laughed, going along with the banter.

“Hey, they say opposites attract.”

“Very true.”

They laughed together, and Shane felt some of the tension slip from his shoulders. He came outside to avoid social interaction, but he found himself surprisingly okay with the demon’s company. The conversation slipped into a small, comfortable silence, then Ryan cleared his throat.

“Y’know, I’m not gonna lie to you… I’m a little confused.”

Shane perked up an eyebrow. “About what?”

“I dunno, it’s just… you’re an angel, judging from your aura. And I’m a demon. Shouldn’t you _hate_ me?”

“Well, technically, I’m not an angel, I’m a deity. A divine being. There’s a difference.” He ran a large hand through his already mussed-up, brown hair. “And I _would_ hate you, but you’re not giving me much of a reason to. You seem pretty down-to-earth. No pun intended.”

Ryan thought for a second and shrugged. “Well, I… I guess I am. I mean, I’m not out to get anyone, that’s for sure.”

Shane hummed as he ran a finger across the rim of his now empty glass. “So, uh, who was the poor sucker whose body you had to possess? He seems like he could’ve been a nice guy.”

“Oh, this isn’t a vessel. This is all me, baby.” The confidence in his voice made the deity snicker.

“Impressive. But how could that be? I thought demons could only take tangible form if they possess some sort of vessel.”

Ryan smiled almost knowingly, as if he was used to this sort of logic. “You’re not wrong, that is mostly true. But here’s something they never teach you in bible study; human souls, be they in Hell or bound to the earth, can turn into demons over time, mostly under two circumstances. A, they never gain justice for their death, therefore never pass on and essentially darken as time passes, or B, they often committed one of the seven deadly sins throughout their lifetime.

“Seeing as they’re not pure demons, they can take the form of their original selves, though not everyone can do so, since it takes a lot of power and energy. I know it sounds like some cheesy plot to a shitty anime or something, but it happens. It definitely doesn’t happen often, but it occurs in rare instances. I, unfortunately… was one of the very, very rare cases of both.”

Shane cocked his head, brows furrowed. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, and I apologize if this seems invasive, but—”

“How’d I die?” Ryan beat him to the punch before he could get there. “Car accident. My girlfriend had just broken up with me that day, and I went out later that night to seek solace in alcohol. You know, just to forget it all for a bit. I went alone, so I didn’t have a designated driver. I stupidly tried to drive myself home, and… it’s pretty obvious what happened from there.” He paused in haunting reminiscence. “It was the middle of nowhere. Neither my car nor body were found. I was simply presumed missing— most just thought that I’d ran away with no warning to pursue my film career that I talked so much about— and that was the end of that. I remained idle for a bit, just waiting for the day I would be set free. It, uh… it never came.”

Jesus, that was heavy. Shane felt sorry for the guy. “Fuck. I’m sorry about that.”

“No need. I did it to myself.”

“…You said something about the seven deadly sins?” He attempted to change the subject, without really changing the subject. He still wanted to learn more about this stranger. “What was yours?”

Ryan blushed and averted his eyes with an embarrassed frown. “Pride.”

“Ah, got it. Though I honestly thought you’d say lust.”

Ryan shot him a surprised, confused glance. “What about me strikes you as being the lustful type?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I mean, _look_ at you.”

Wait. Did he really just say that?

Oh god, he really just said that. Shane wished he knew how to shut up sometimes.

“Oh.” The blush in Ryan’s cheeks deepened in a new mixture of embarrassment and shy flattery. “Well thanks, I guess.”

Shane flushed at the sight of his flustered state. The guy had an endearing quality to him. “You know, you don’t seem very prideful. You’re actually very humble.”

“Well, I mean, rotting in the bowels of Hell does kinda humble the shit out of you.”

“Good point.” Shane laughed, rubbing the back of his neck timidly. “I, uh… never got your name, by the way.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that. It’s funny, you basically know everything about me _but_ my name,” the demon chuckled and held a hand out for a handshake. “It’s Ryan.”

Shane went in for the handshake, expecting some sort of burn on Ryan’s part from the contact. However, no burn came. This demon’s general aura was weaker than most— not as pungently evil, if at all, really. It was pleasant, and the deity happily welcomed the embrace.

“Shane. Or, at least, that’s my official alias. I don’t really use my original name much anymore, so… there’s really no point in saying, I guess.”

Ryan nodded compliantly. “Makes sense.”

“Yo, Shane! Get your ass back in here!” The two startled at the sound of a man’s loud, intoxicated voice coming from the doors behind them. Shane knew that voice, and had to refrain from rolling his eyes. He looked over his shoulder to see Brent, glasses askew, standing in the open doorway. Once he realized that his friend wasn’t alone, the drunken grin on his face fell. “Oh, I mean—” He fumbled for words, brainpower clearly slower than it usually was. “S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. If now’s not a g-good time…”

“Nah, it’s fine, I’ll be back in a second,” Shane forced out, feigning patience as best he could. Fuckin’ Bront, ruining the moment. The reddish-brown haired man hiccupped and waved an apologetic hand before retreating into the bar. Shane shook his head and turned back to his acquaintance. “Sorry about that, I came with the fellas. You know, to crack open a cold one with the boys, or whatever.”

The guy giggled with a soft wheeze. “Yeah, I get it.”

When no mention of coming with his friends came from the shorter man, Shane raised both eyebrows disbelievingly. “Please don’t tell me you came to the bar _alone_.”

Ryan’s face fell a bit, the initial sparkle in his eyes fading. “Some mistakes are lessons never learned, I suppose.”

“Yeah, I suppose.” He frowned at the concept of Ryan being here alone, possibly drunk and with no safe way of getting home (especially considering his past). “Um, I know you can’t technically die again, but… promise me you’ll take an Uber home, yeah?”

Ryan smiled at this, eyes soft. It was really heartwarming that the man was concerned for his well-being, despite the fact that they hadn’t known each other for very long. “I promise. In fact, I’ll go ahead and call one now. I wasn’t planning on staying long, anyway.” He reached into his pants’ back pocket to pull out his phone.

“Okay. Okay, good, that’s good.” He glanced back at the doors, knowing that his friends were waiting for him, but not wanting to leave his new friend without gaining some sort of contact information. “Keep in touch?”

The demon glanced up from his phone and chortled lightly. “As long as you don’t mind hanging out with a demon, I’m all for it.”

Shane smirked as he started to pull out his own cell. “I think I can handle it.”

 

* * *

 

 

They didn’t expect to keep in touch to the extent that they did.

They _certainly_ didn’t expect Ryan to get a job at the same company that Shane worked at, allowing them to work alongside each other.

And they _definitely_ didn’t expect to be co-hosting a show regarding the supernatural and crime together.

But neither one of them was complaining. They both had tons of fun on their spooky little adventures. One more so than the other, usually, but that was besides the point.

The show, while it was incredibly fun and well-paying, was more than just a job. Though they were both obviously supernatural beings, that didn’t stop Ryan’s quest to learn more about the universe(s) and what else lied beyond his knowledge. He just… always wanted to know _more_. It was adorable.

In one episode, they went to speak to a very well-renowned priest named Father Thomas (it was Ryan’s idea, of course. In his defense, holy water didn’t hurt him too much, and he still wanted to stay as protected as possible from the demons he knew it _would_ hurt). They had only been standing outside of the church, filming the first snippet of the video, and he was already anxious. He was obviously excited to speak to the priest and learn more about his perspective, but he was also deeply concerned about the fact that he was… literally a fucking demon walking into a church. Needless to say, he was incredibly nervous about the outcome of this meeting.

In all actuality, his anxiety had been all for naught. He was really more along the lines of a tainted ghost— a human soul that had essentially gone to the underworld, learned its lesson, and returned to its original mortal realm through a portal— so his ‘evil’ aura was very easy for Shane to override, seeing as it wasn’t even really evil in the first place. During their visit, neither one of them seemed particularly conspicuous to the priest, and for that, Shane was grateful.

To be fair, even if anyone would’ve woven up some conspiracy that one or both of them were supernatural in some way, most would easily assume that Ryan was the angel. And, honestly, their assumptions would make complete sense; he sure looked and acted like one. Shane typically decided to use the term ‘demon’ for his friend quite lightly. He _was_ technically a demonic being, but everything about him, from his looks to his personality, screamed ‘ethereal’. How _Ryan_ was the demon and Shane wasn’t, he had no idea.

At the end of the day, though, regardless of their polarized dispositions, they both genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. It wasn’t just the fact that their chemistry was so strong that they never (okay, _rarely ever_ ) failed to make each other laugh. Their friendship earned Ryan a companion who made him feel safe— something he didn’t recall ever having in his time alive on Earth as a mortal. It made him feel secure for once.

In turn, Shane got to spend his time with a charming guy whose wits were right on par with his own— something that _he_ rarely ever came across, even throughout the many centuries he’d been on Earth. No matter how often he was with Ryan, he was always so refreshing to be around; being with him never got old. It was like having a ray of sunshine and a breath of fresh air always by your side. It was all just very nice.

He also got to run around taunting stupid, stinky demons, which was arguably just as nice, in his opinion.

~

“Hey there, demons. It’s me, ya boy. I’m, uh… standing near your hole, and it’s very dark.”

The tall man paused as he glanced around the room, Ryan standing just a bit away from the doorway. He wasn’t scared at all— there wasn’t anything for him to be scared of— but he still paused for the dramatic effect.

“And, um… frankly, I don’t believe in you, so I feel like I’m writing a letter to Santa Claus right now. But, uh… my friend Ryan _does_ believe in you, so… maybe you are real, he’s a… I wouldn’t say _logical_ person but… smart. Uh… I guess I’ll be quiet now, and if you wanna pick me up or scratch me or slam me into the ceiling, now would be the best opportunity for that. Understand, I _do_ have a rope here, so. Y’know. Alright. Maintaining silence now. Do try to kill me.”

Silence followed, and Shane was almost disappointed in the lack of response.

That is, until a low growl sounded from the well.

Shane glanced towards it, completely unfazed when he saw some shadowy, grotesque thing come crawling from the hole. Just another asshole who thought they had some relevance or power to overtake a divine being. Pathetic.

It came looming towards him, its multiple limbs flailing about as it crawled rapidly across the floor. Shane yawned, unimpressed. With a simple flick of the wrist, the shadow went flying across the room and back into the well. Already sensing what was to come, he flicked his wrist once more to silence the creature’s anguished howl as it fell back down the hole it crawled out of, this time to its imminent demise. Even if Ryan wasn’t oblivious and could sense the other demons’ presences, Shane figured that he needn’t hear anything going on in the room. Well, him and the 100% human cameraman accompanying them, of course.

Hearing a slight shuffle coming from a few feet away, he glared in the direction of the other two, smaller figures in the room. He heard their hushed, distorted whispers as they spoke amongst themselves.

“Wait a minute… is that— is _he_ —"

“Holy shit, I do believe he is.”

“Oh, fuck that. I’m not gonna let that motherfucker turn _me_ to dust. Let’s just go.” Not needing to be provoked any further, the shadows disappeared, and Shane sneered.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, you evil cunts,” he muttered under his breath triumphantly. He turned to leave, pulling on the rope as he did, just to josh with Ryan.

“Are you trying to fuck with me, you—”

Shane chuckled as he exited the dark, musty room and returned to his best friend’s side. “Yeah. No demons in there. This place is cleared.”

~

Two pairs of soulless, yellow eyes watched the two men from the shadows as they approached the intimidatingly large and imposing hospital building, exchanging their typical banter as they did.

“It kinda looks like a castle!”

“It kinda looks like _Hell_.”

“It looks like _Hogwarts_!”

“There’s not one part of you that’s like, ‘oh man, this is— I’m really in for it now…’”

“I mean, I don’t—”

“What in the _fuck_ is that?” The shorter man startled at the sound of a metal pole nearby blowing in the wind, scraping against the gate and few tree branches in the process.

“It’s just a big metal… thing. That’s not a ghost, that’s metal.”

“Jesus Christ, dude.”

“Well, I think we should let ‘em know that we’re entering, y’know, just give ‘em a quick, uh… hey, ghouls! The boys are here!” This one’s voice dripped with a thick conglomeration of sarcasm, contempt, and mockery.

One of the demons rolled their eyes with an exasperated groan. “Ugh, it’s _this_ fuckin’ guy again. What an asshole.”

“His little friend is with him, too, per the usual.” The other sighed with a shake of the head. “I wish that deity would go back to where he came from. It would certainly make our job a lot easier.”

“Yeah, the smaller one’s time is way past due. Everyone’s been trying to get the wimp back to Hell, but no one can ever fucking get him with _that_ douchebag around.”

The sound of the unlikely pair’s mingled laughter from yards away cut through their conversation, and they both glared in their direction, scowling petulantly.

“What a couple of fucking idiots.”

 

* * *

 

 

Of course, tonight was no different than the rest.

They were shooting a new Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural episode, kicking off the new season. The house they were investigating was apparently infested with demons, but that didn’t stop Shane from being a cheeky bastard. If anything, it only spurred him on, much to Ryan’s usual displeasure.

“Demon! Demon, show yourself! Do it, you fucking coward!” The deity yelled, sweeping the room with his flashlight in search of something else in the house with them.

“Shane, what the shit! Stop screwing around and take this seriously, dude!”

“ _Demon!_ ” He called out again, only kind of ignoring Ryan’s protests. He knew that even if a demon showed itself, no harm would come out of it. Not with him around, anyway. “C’mon, ya piece of burnt shit, put up a fight!”

“ _Shane_ , I swear to fucking god—"

A deep, ominous laugh interrupted Ryan’s retort, and he tensed next to Shane, shuffling to press himself against him for comfort. The lanky man took a protective step forward, eyes darting around the room suspiciously.

“God damnit, Shane, look what you did—"

Manifesting from the darkness of the room, a black, human-like figure came into view, its large wings widening as it smiled with a crooked, fang-filled grin. It cocked its head curiously like that of an intrigued puppy, blood-red eyes shining menacingly as it watched the two men from across the room.

“ _You_.” Its garbled voice rang around the dank space, sending a wave of intense gooseflesh across Ryan’s body. Shane frowned, not letting his guard down.

There was a comically long moment of silence as they stared each other down, then Shane decided to break it.

“Sorry, I don’t know you. Who are you again?” The shadow started to answer, but he cut it off, raising his hand to signal for it to stop. “Wait, no, don’t answer that. It’s truly not important. Well, it wouldn’t be important whether you said it or not, but I thought I’d spare us all the waste of time.”

Its eyes narrowed, almost irritably, then it chuckled, shaking the house. “Sorry to knock you off your high horse, sweetheart, but I was mostly talking about him,” it pointed a long, clawed finger at Ryan, who gulped and gripped Shane’s arm tightly. “I’ve been looking for you for a long time, lil’ fella. We all have, really. I think you know what I mean.”

It slowly started to step towards them; something akin to a visceral snarl escaped Shane’s throat at the sight of the movement.

“If you so much as lay a dirty claw on him, I’ll fucking throttle you where you stand and send you back to Hell from whence you came.”

The dark figure winced mockingly. “Ooh, such strong language coming from an angel.”

“Bite me.”

“I’m trying to.”

The deity spat at the unholy being, his saliva hitting it and burning the parts that it touched, causing it to recoil and shriek in pain.

“You can’t protect him forever, you know. One day, he _will_ return to Hell, where he belongs.” Its red eyes blazed like the fires of Hell themselves as it glared at Ryan with all the hatred in its essence. “The coward deserves to suffer.”

“I fail to agree. You know, you really shouldn’t be so quick to make assumptions. Not everyone’s a piece of shit like you.”

The creature growled, starting to retreat to a corner. It was coming to terms with the fact that this was a fight it just couldn’t win, but it didn’t leave without a final threat. “Sooner or later, we will drag him back, and we’ll drag you along with him.”

“I’d like to see you fucking try.” Shane’s eyes started to glow white, giving the demon a clear warning to back off. It cowered farther into the corner, dissipating into a cloud of soot before disappearing altogether. He watched the area for a bit, making sure there was nothing still there, then turned to his friend, who was still stiffly gripping his arm and staring at the corner in horror.

“Hey, you okay?” Shane whispered, placing a hand on his waist and patting it to get his attention. When he only blinked, still not meeting Shane’s eyes, his brow furrowed. “Ry?”

The shorter man’s eyes finally glided up to meet Shane’s, and he scowled, pushing away from the man’s embrace angrily. “I really, _really_ wish you’d stop fucking around with them! I’m of their kind; I fucking _know_ what they’re capable of. I’m not as strong as they are, Shane. They can toss and slam me around like a goddamn ragdoll. I have powers, but they’re _nothing_ against the legion of demons that want me rotting in Hell.”

“Ryan—”

“No, for fuck’s sake, just _listen_ for once!” The demon yelled, louder than he intended to, but still loud enough to get his point across. Shane swallowed thickly, blinking as he watched the demon begin to pace in front of him with a hand in his hair. “I don’t wanna go back there, Shane! Going back to Hell would literally be like dying a second time, and the suffering would only increase by a tenfold. You mock the situation because you’re a _holy being_ ; you have no repercussions to suffer, so of course you would. I mean, fuck, you can’t even begin to imagine how disgusting and horrible Hell is. It’s… it’s all of your worst nightmares times five hundred. It’s awful and scary and I fucking _hate_ it. I don’t belong there, Shane. I’m not evil. I never have and never will want to hurt anyone. I’m not like the others. I’m just _not_.”

He’d stopped pacing and was looking at Shane, eyes shining with oncoming tears as he softly shook his head.

“I don’t wanna go back. I-I just— _I_ _can’t go back there_.”

“I know.” Shane sighed and cautiously approached him, wrapping his arms around his smaller frame and rubbing soothing circles across his back. Ryan, though he was still upset, allowed himself to be embraced, leaning into the warmth of his chest. “Shh, I know.”

“Sometimes, you don’t act like it.” Ryan chortled humorlessly, staring at the fabric of Shane’s shirt. “Honestly, sometimes, it’s like you _do_ know, you just… don’t seem to care.”

Shane’s breath hitched at the genuine hurt in Ryan’s voice. He pulled away slightly, cupping his face so they could look into each other’s eyes. “You listen to me. I care. I care so… _so_ fucking much, Ryan. Probably more than any holy being should care for a demon, or mortal, at that. There’s literally nothing I care about more than your well-being.

“ _They can’t hurt me_. And as long as they can’t hurt me, they can’t hurt you. You mean more to me than what this world can give, and I _swear_ to you, I will never, ever, in a million years, let any harm come to you.”

He leaned in and kissed Ryan’s forehead, using his thumb to wipe some of the tears from his face. “Okay?”

Ryan bit his bottom lip, trying to suppress a shy smile as his cheeks flushed. “Okay.”

Shane nodded and pulled away completely, pocketing his flashlight and gazing around the room. “Are you sure you’ll be alright? We can quit this investigation early, if you want. Anything for your comfort.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” He reached for his friend’s larger hand, intertwining their fingers and gazing up at him with dark, affectionate eyes. “I’ve got you.”

“You bet your lucky stars you do.” Shane smiled down at him, squeezing his hand comfortingly and lifting it to press a soft kiss to his knuckles. “Well, in that case… let’s head upstairs. I thought I heard some creakin’. Maybe it’s a g-g-g-ghost!”

Ryan giggled and let Shane lead him by the hand towards the staircase. “You’re insufferable.”

**Author's Note:**

> yee this took a while but was very fun to write and i'm really proud of it! hope you all liked it! :')  
> you can find me [ here](https://51wheezes.tumblr.com/) at my bfu tumblr! thanks for the support, it's super appreciated <3


End file.
